Life Unopened
by rsbakker
Aphorism of the Day: The only thing new about the year is how bloody old you’re getting.
I intended to post over the holidays – Christ, I intended to do a lot of things over the holidays. But we were simply overrun, with shrieking, santa-mad, little girls for the most part. But friends and relatives as well… and booze. Christmas and New Years are always a strange time. There’s the calendar and all that, the changing of the guard on that little corner called ‘date’ on everything you sign. But it’s the people that really mark the passage of time. You, know, that uncle you only see once every holiday, who always manages to shock you into saying, ‘Did you see how old he’s getting?’ on the drive home – year after year after year.
That’s how we reckon our passage: the annual holiday survey of our cohort and others, the aging mobs, still getting drunk, still giggling the way they did getting baked behind the gymnasium when they were sixteen years old. All these kids, you think, wearing their parents’ and grandparents’ clothes – which is to say, skin. And those strangers – who invited them? And then there’s the gaps, the missing giggles, the way the ranks have been thinned.
A part of me always wakes up over the holidays, even as other parts take the chance to snooze. A part me wonders as I participate, thoughts warm and complicated. I’m nice. Everyone is nice. And it’s nice that we’re all so nice. It’s beautiful that forgetting is so effortless. A part of me wakes up and understands what it means to sleep, to roar with happy delirium, bringing in the Mayan year of doom.
Going into the holidays, I had resolved to not leave the ‘Bestiary’ up – what kind of Christmas message was that? 2012? That’s your end? Here’s an apocalypse for you…
I wanted to be nice. Lot’s of people talking, which means lots of people following up on the web about this and that. What kind of way is that to greet prospective readers?
But then I thought, fuck it. I’m not quite sure why.
That said, humans are still behind the literary wheel. And The White-Luck Warrior was fortunate enough to make it onto a handful of best of 2011 lists. In a bundle of rooms on a cold continent on a world that is a speck in a universe as vast and old as itself, I watched my little girl grasp the wonder of the gift for the first time, and for that moment the present was my present, unopened, and warm to the touch.
Welcome to 2012.
Happy New Year to the Bakker clan! I imagine Christmas gets more and more exciting/expensive as your little girl grows up.
Right back atcha, Ian. I literally think she received more gifts these past three weeks than I did through my entire childhood!
Holidays, and Christmas especially, is not a time for ambition; never plan, simply let the entire thing engulf you.
..as for the entire remark of ‘did you see how old uncle [..] is becoming?’, my family have had a close to identical way of expressing that – and I always thought it was some manner of peculiar hang-up unique to us. The snowflake is tarnished.
Also, something reserved for you Mr. Bakker: http://www.xtin.net/comics/1089637/xtin-graphic-novel-cover/
I could not help but feel some faint similarities between atmosphere of this and that of the Second Apocalypse. Perhaps you’ll like it! (Mature content included in the link)
It looks good but it doesn’t seem to make any sense and just throws in jargon at random.
Certain things need to be earned.
“The OSONIM is for you too!”
“Prepare your body for the O’KEEPA!”
Well, that was weird.
Looks like a fetish comic for people who dig the whole BME body-torture mutilation thing.
Because you haven’t really lived until you’ve suspended yourself from a meathook.
After that it hinted an actual story it become over-the-line explicit gore and mutilation…any semblance of a coherent story have been reduced to brief snippets. I add an additional warning; it really wasn’t a passing phase, it just got worse and took over the entire thing. Having progressed beyond the start, I am inclined to agree with Jorge quite entirely, so do take care reading.
Now that’s a christmas gift best left unopened! Dude is brilliant, that’s for sure.
Nothing quite so wondrous as seeing that time of year through the eyes of a child for the first time. The whole shrieking part of the program can certainly be weathered for that delight. Cheers to you!
The most beautiful things I think I’ve seen, actually.
I agree. Christmas changed entirely when I had kids, and as inexplicable as qualia.
You mean that you DON’T know of the O’keepa?
But yes, it certainly lends to confusion – with us given so little explaination. In one aspect I felt the puzzling but also intriguing early narrative to be in accord with the feeling I had when I read the ‘The Four Revelations’.
Also; Gore, so very very much gore. I hope it is a manner of phase because there sure is gore in there.
2012: The Year of The Unholy Consult!*
*OK, maybe that’s wishful thinking?
It’s funny how the joy and wonder of Christmas as a child slowly turns into the stress and coercion of gift-giving as an adult. This has been a rough christmas. Adults only.
I gave a grand total of 3 gifts this year.
1. A KindleFire to my GF.
2. “The White-Luck Warrior” and “You Are Not So Smart” to a friend with whom I had planned a gift exchange.
Pretty easy. It gets more difficult in years where I actually plan on seeing my family, because then I have to get presents for them which is somewhat more difficult.
I feel pressured into most gifts, because I still receive many gifts. I live near much immediate and extended family, so holidays are quite exhausting to say nothing about how ubiquitous ‘Our Holy Lord’ and the like become during this time of year. . .
Streamlined for the holidays. Now that’s the way to fly.
I just miss getting hammered with the tunes cranked night after night.
Happy 2012. If nothing else, you have inspired the genre of metal:
http://antania.bandcamp.com/track/wicked-north
I snorted when the vocals started, I have to admit.
Not bad. Vocal’s reminded me a little bit of Lord Worm (from Cryptopsy) but unlike Lord Worm, I could actually understand what was being said.
I’ve seen this before. Way fucking cool.
I gave 2 copies of Disciple of the Dog to friends for Christmas. One of those friends read the book over New Years weekend and she told me today that she loved it and that it just might be her new favorite. She was practically giddy. She will be recommending it to friends and family.
Maybe Disciple isn’t dead yet. If not, he’s in a persistent vegetative state. And if he ever snaps out of it I will insist that he spin you a doob, dharm!
I will continue to hold candlelight vigils.
Speaking of 2012, any chance you’ll be making an appearance at World Fantasy Convention in November, considering it’s up in your neck of the woods (Toronto)?
Most definitely. I didn’t even know it was in Toronto this year! (Which just goes to show…)
Nice! I’m slated to go as of right now. Would be good to meet you in person sometime during the proceedings.
I’ll be the one wearing beer-goggles…
So I don’t have to force you to go to these things any longer? LOL
g
Are you going too, Gary?
Only if I finish this damned book first!! I’m only two years behind schedule. 🙂